The Tricky Brain and Everyone’s Enjoyment

Peaceful Autumn Days uploaded by lionheart

Humans have big brains. That’s what we’re told. For years scientists have argued, “our brains have more neurons and expend more energy than would be expected for our size, and our cerebral cortex, which is responsible for higher cognition, is disproportionately large” (source: Scientific American).

If humans have big brains (note: Dolphins’ brains are bigger and their intelligence is so different we can barely comprehend it), one would assume humans are smart, but if you look around, you see absolute stupidity! You see millions of people damaging themselves through violence, crime and substance abuse, damaging other creatures and people through cruelty, deviancy, murder and war, and damaging the natural environment through overpopulation, pollution, burning fossil fuels, and deforestation.

If humans are so intelligent, why are they repeatedly conned and abused? People think they’re intelligent but let themselves be bamboozled by fears and self-interests peddled by dictators and or criminals such as, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Bashar al-Assad and Donald Trump—just to name a few.

Despots, Criminals and Tyrants throughout history.

In Thinking to Some Purpose (1939) (available here for free), British philosopher “Lizzie” Susan Stebbing (1885-1943) wrote, “Some forms of ineffective thinking are due to our not unnatural desire to have confident beliefs about complicated matters with regard to which we must take some action or other….we easily fall into the habit of accepting compressed statements which save us from the trouble of thinking” (Wikipedia).

Susan Stebbing also wrote, “Our difficulties are due partly to our own stupidity, partly to the exploitation of that stupidity, and partly to our own prejudices and personal desires.” 

The problems we create individually and collectively have less to do with intelligence, as in, “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills” (Oxford) and more to do with wisdom. Like the writer Dostoevsky said, “It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently” (Crime and Punishment, 1886). That something “more” is wisdom and compassion, both of which are missing in the actions of the selfish and criminal.

The Boston Globe

The poet Christopher James Gilbert (aka Criss Jami) (1987-present) wrote, “Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.”

Criss Jami also wrote, “It is easier for one to take risks and to chase his dreams with a mindset that he has nothing to lose. In this lies the immense passion, the great advantage of avoiding a materialistic, pleasure-filled way of life” (Killosophy, 2015).

Similarly, the novelist Marie Louise de la Ramée (aka Ouida) (1839-1908) observed, “Intensely selfish people are always very decided as to what they wish. They do not waste their energies in considering the good of others” (Wanda, 1883).

So, what’s the answer? We know selfishness is a problem, but knowing it’s a problem doesn’t seem to stop us! A lot of people have a philosophy like that of the Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821-1881) who wrote, “I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea” (Notes from Underground, 1864) or like the French philosopher Albert Camus (1913-1960) who wrote, “To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others” (The Fall, 1956).

Cue music:

But such a self-focus fails to recognize our dependence on others and the interconnectedness of things on Earth. As Stephen Kendrick said, “Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves” (The Love Dare, 2008)

So, how do we overcome selfishness?

A Tibetan Buddhist lama named Khandro Rinpoche wrote, “A society based upon peace, harmony, wisdom and compassion is possible, but we must all begin with ourselves… As human beings, we all try our best to bring about a world based on kindness and compassion. What seems to go wrong, however, is that what I want, what I personally would like, becomes more important than the benefit of the whole community” (Compassion and Wisdom).

Because we want happiness and nobody wants to suffer, the actions we take (or don’t take) are motivated by thoughts like, “How can I be happy? How can I avoid pain?” but by so doing we develop a selfish attitude.

We get so focused on thoughts and emotions, we don’t see clearly. When we respond to a desire and say, “Yes! Yes! Do it! Do it!” or a fear and say, “No! No! Don’t do it!” we can get sucked in by our own thoughts so the trick is to first observe the thought or feeling and then to not act on it impulsively. With practice you may realize that acting on mental chatter narrowly focused on a fear or a now-reward is not a good plan.

We think our thoughts have our best interests, but that’s not correct (see: It’s not me. It’s my brain).

Give yourself time to see the “big picture” or as what astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson would call a “cosmic perspective.” In Tyson’s book, Starry Messenger: Cosmic Perspectives on Civilization (2021), we are urged to base our actions on accurate observation and be willing to discard ideas that don’t work.

A cosmic perspective would see that our body is made of cells and these cells survive on food, air and water which comes from the earth. We are, in effect, the earth in the form of an organism and our entire life experience as a body is perceived through our mind and our mind is a stream of consciousness flowing. The trick is to become aware of how thoughts and feelings may deceive us, and, moreover, in mental self-absorption, make us oblivious to the world around us.

To derail selfish thoughts try going into nature wherever you can find it and maybe do something that you know needs doing. Transfer the focus from yourself to the beauty, wonder and good people all around.

Rather than a Freudian psychoanalytical approach where we dwell on ourselves and entertain thoughts and feelings to gain insight, for this we take a more Zen approach as exemplified in Morita therapy. The Japanese psychiatrist Shoma Morita (1874-1938) encouraged us to accept reality and to do what needs to be done however mundane that might be (i.e., make your bed, wash dishes). As Morita said, “Give up on yourself. Begin taking action now, while being neurotic or imperfect, or a procrastinator, or unhealthy, or lazy, or any other label by which you inaccurately describe yourself. Go ahead and be the best imperfect person you can be and get started on those things you want to accomplish before you die” (see: The Essence of This).

And enjoy the enjoyment of others enjoying.

Enjoyment, Cookies and Purposeful Purposelessness

Imagine you’re in a conference room. It’s late afternoon. You are an unemployed interloper attending a conference session. You came in from the cold when you spied cookies and an empty chair.

goldilocks zoneYou have food, warmth and health and the people seem nice. You enjoy the idea of people but not their irritating glances as if chewing a cookie were a crime. The conference room you’re in is well lit and warm (but not too warm) and the cookie you eat is sweet (but not too sweet). As Goldilocks would say, “It’s just right.”

Such is simple enjoyment so stumbled upon.

boring meeting 2Everyone in the room is well fed and has their own chair. Your chair is fantastic. There’s nothing quite like a good sit, when you’re in the mood for sitting. Above your head like a halo is a speaker. You hear a barely audible Al Martino sing Somewhere My Love and imagine Russian sleigh-rides.

It’s a beautiful day for you to enjoy (until security arrives).

american_robinYou watch a man sleep as a woman fiddles on her mobile device. You wonder if you end with your skin (are you a letter therein?) or are you like a leaf on a tree or a cell in a body? Is a bird no more separate from you than your fingernail is?

And you wonder if your presence here could have been predicted based on the temperature outside, your genes, propensities, location, desperation and desire for free cookies? How free are you?

conference presentation 2Does the moon remain where it is when you look away?

Such are your thoughts as you eat your cookie and ignore the keynote speaker with all the answers.

looking out windowYou study each person and wonder: What’s it like to be another? Is another person’s feeling of awareness the same as your own? You think, “Yes,” but how do you know? Couldn’t you just as easily be someone else as you are yourself? If you were looking out of someone else’s eyes right now, how would you know? You can only see outward. You are always you to yourself.

When did you know you were you? Are you not in a different form from when you were born? Every year you change like a snake sheds its skin, could this be your own form of reincarnation?

The presenter up front is talking about competition, globalization and robotics as you float on the music of Love is Blue and ponder poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s words, “I am signalling you through the flames. The North Pole is not where it used to be. Manifest Destiny is no longer manifest. Civilization self-destructs… What are poets for, in such an age?” (Poetry As Insurgent Art, 1975).

helloAt the back of the room is a coffee urn and cups. You get up, fix yourself a cup and return to your chair. No one seems to care. No one knows who you are. Such is anonymity in the city. Everyone here is a name tag to each other.

love is blueL’amour est bleu… When we met how the bright sun shone. Then love died, now the rainbow is gone” (Pierre Cour, 1967) – gone like all these people will be in fifty years.

Busy talk and mental chatter about globalization, competition and robots keep realizations away, but of course, on this cold day in October, realizations don’t matter.
Bette+MidlerIt’s a nice room with non-threatening people who keep themselves busy not killing each other. You feel peacefully purposeless. There is nothing to be or do. You are content. Could this be the essence of enjoyment?

Looking down you see a stain in the rose patterned carpet that looks like Bette Midler and hear “The rose” quietly playing on the speaker above your head.

It’s a miracle to you (and only you)!  (For more on this phenomenon of significance in coincidence see the free book “And Then“).

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence,” but then again, he said women are monstrous, slavery is natural and the brain is of minor importance.

marigoldIn the Secret of the Golden Flower a mythical Master said, “That which exists through itself is called meaningIt is contained in the two eyes… If one can attain purposelessness through purpose, then the thing has been grasped.”

balloonCould purposeless purpose be enjoyment itself? Is this a spiritual paradox grasped? You look around with your two eyes – aware of yourself as you are where you are – and see just as two eyes saw thousands of years ago and will see thousands of years from now.

Only the name tags change.

With sudden gradual recognition of yourself as you are, you enjoy. You feel light sitting heavy. Sometimes all it takes is the taste of a cookie and a passing fancy.

sunset3With an appreciation of yourself – of your own particular idiosyncratic ridiculousness as you are, in the crazyness of where you are – you can lighten up and feel 65% oxygen (which you are). You can enjoy being a balloon in time.

Let go and fly by the seat of your pants on the waves of this little big planet of ours.

Smile with purposeless purpose and enjoy whatever comes.

Congeniality, Ideal Goodness and Enjoyment

Saab2Two guys are driving in a vintage car in Portland, Oregon. The driver says to the passenger, “I think you’re supposed to have fun in life.” “I’m right with you,” says the passenger shaking his head from side to side. “Great,” says the driver. “Right with you,” repeats the passenger.

A_small_cup_of_coffeeThey rattle on. “I’m really enjoying this car. Are you?” “I love it,” says the passenger.

As far-fetched as it sounds, this conversation happened. The guys are Jerry Seinfeld and Fred Armisen. The show is Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

not funIt’s not hard to imagine two congenial friends like this having fun together, but what about someone who doesn’t have fun? What then?

Someone enters the words, “no enjoyment out of life” as a search term and finds this blog. Does it help or is it like John Steinbeck said in 1961, “No one wants advice, only corroboration?”

You can set the stage for enjoyment like they do in Comedians in Cars, but whether you get it or not, depends.

There’s a knack to it.

knack
A banker.

Ask people: “What do you do if you have no enjoyment?” From a banker you get a loan. From a stoic you get, “Do what you can, not what you can’t.” From a positive psychologist you get, “Think positive!” (and take your damn anti-depressants!).

big joe turnerFrom a bartender you get a drink. From a hedonist you get hedonism. From a believer you get belief. From a radical you get radicalized. From Big Joe Turner you get Shake, Rattle and Roll.

What you get depends on who’s giving it. Things like receptivity (What Do You Enjoy?), determination (The First Step), awareness (Who am I?) and planning (Rules of Enjoyment) help, but there’s more to it.

lamborginiIt’s like what Chris Rock said in Comedians in Cars when Jerry asked him what he thought of a car. Chris Rock said, “I like you Jerry… everything is about the company … If we were in a cab, we would probably be having the same exact conversation.”

Someone who gets no enjoyment probably won’t get it from lighthearted banter and a Lamborghini. You need an ideal.

goodnessLife is justified by its fruits. Whether you eat or drink, do so for the sake of life, of enjoyment and the ideal of goodness. What is goodness? You know it when you see it. A good is a natural delight in the the senses, in affections, and in the mind. A vision of heaven on earth is ideal goodness.

weedsThat the end of life is death may sound sad, but what other end could anything have? At the end of a party you go to bed. At the end of a dance, you sit down. At the end of the day, you go home. After tea, you wash your cup.

Transitoriness is essential. Existence is change.

Things get sad with sentimentality. When we imagine that an end is untimely, we get sad. The trick is to live in the presence of ideal goodness. It’s all around. You die, but goodness doesn’t.

The world can be dangerous. We take shelter in human constructions, but the next storm, earthquake, or bomb can take it down. Despite the odds of catastrophe, pain and suffering, challenge the assumptions you have of a universe of desires and come to self-knowledge. You get it when you don’t. It’s a new order. The decision is yours.

whynot

The vision you’re having right now is your life. Here. Now. Reading this silly little blog, you can be completely aware of yourself in the place you are. Seeing with these eyes. The voice you hear is your own.

marcus
Marcus Aurelius as he looked in 151 AD.

If you are catastrophe free, count yourself glad. If not, as the stoic said, “You win. You lose.” Or, as Marcus Aurelius said when he stubbed his toe on a throne, “Misfortune nobly born is good fortune” (Meditations).

Forge on. Become goodness incarnate. Goodness shows as humility, kindness and a lack of self-centredness. Empathize! Enjoy updowns.

thoreau
Henry Thoreau as he looked in 1861.

Breathe a silent sigh. As an animal with a mind, filled with folly, happiness and sorrow, a stupid dreaming creature with odd perspectives in the midst of a vast natural world, quietly observe the place you find yourself in and look for harmonies. Imagine yourself as the earth seeing itself seeing itself.

Ideal goodness is the enjoyment that emerges when you connect or as Henry Thoreau said to himself in the woods after leaving the pencil factory, “Goodness is the only investment that never fails” (Walden, 1854).

summerSo, what do you do? Live the ideal of good. Live in the imagination of ultimate things and like Mother said, “Go outside! Be good!” Enjoy the music of strawberries in the summertime (even if they’re in your mind).

Imagination and Enjoyment

English_SheepproustMarcel Proust (1871-1922), French novelist and bed writer, came from a wealthy family. He had the Leisure of a W.H. Davies poem and enjoyed pondering ponderings, galleries, fine dining, observing and writing without brevity.

In Remembrance of Things Past (1923), people say he wrote about having new eyes (as in a metaphorical ocular transplant), but that’s not quite what he meant.

eye2His wordiness is construed as follows: “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

It’s become a slogan slathered on pillows and bric-à-brac for those who enjoy pithy inspirations.

music2In a salon long ago, Proust enjoyed a musical performance that transported him to a wonderful “strange land” in his mind (see: What Proust Really Said… and a reenactment).

He was writing about beholding with the eyes of another person so as to appreciate the universe from that person’s perspective – especially the perspective of a painter or composer who help us to fly with them from star to star.

The only true voyage of discovery, the only fountain of Eternal Youth, would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes, to behold the universe through the eyes of another, of a hundred others, to behold the hundred universes that each of them beholds, that each of them is; and this we can contrive with an Elstir, with a Vinteuil; with men like these we do really fly from star to star” (Proust, “The Captive“).

hesselberth_empathy_nytimes
Joyce Hesselberth: Developing Empathy

Imagine yourself as another person. Feel what he or she feels. It’s an enjoyable projection. To drink of the fountain of youth is to behold with the eyes of a child.

Neuroscience describes this as the act of mirror neurons: “a type of brain cell that respond equally when we perform an action and when we witness someone else perform the same action (The Mind’s Mirror).

This is to see a man drink and say, “This is better than good,” and taste it yourself. It is to see a person’s foot do something and neurons connected to our own foot fire. It’s like that Joe South song, Walk a Mile in My Shoes, that Elvis sang.

shoesThe relation between yourself and the world is like a pair of shoes. You have a left shoe (that’s you) and a right shoe (everybody else). You take care of both out of self-interest. You imagine the best life possible by maximizing choices to get what you want.

george ainslie
George Ainslie (not Larry David)

George Ainslie, psychiatrist and economist, is quoted in Wisdom: From Philosophy to Neuroscience (Hall, 2010) as saying, “Self-control is the art of making the future bigger” (p. 173). You imagine a future you’ll enjoy over an immediate gratification you’ll regret.

You construct, as Ainslie says, “your idea of your character, your idea of heaven, your idea of simply the moral life, the kind of person you insist on being in the long run… (it) is a budgetary skill” (p. 173).

There are two aspects to enjoyment: one is to have awareness of reality (beyond the way it appears and the way you want it to be) and the other is to use this awareness of reality to take action to increase happiness and decrease suffering.

golden ruleA rampantly selfish campaign is like focusing only on the left shoe (your self). To do that is to hop on one foot. It’s tiring and leads to tumbles.

Not enjoyable.

Every creature wants to avoid suffering and be happy, but happiness and suffering are interconnected. We know this. The other guy is like you.

boomerangWith imagination (and those mirror neurons), we see from another person’s mind and make choices knowing that another’s well-being is as our own. Kindness towards another is advanced self-interest.
california-starsTrain yourself to enjoy like it’s an Olympic event and you’re an enjoyment athlete. Even when you lose, you lose well. Enjoyment hangs like grapes picked like California Stars.

See humour in oddities, as from above. Will enjoyment and let it roll. Just imagine. Practice emotional self-control and let go. Notice surroundings and contemplate. Contrary to what you may have been told, you’re not special and those who think they are: probably aren’t. Humility is a key to enjoy ability.

The trick is to enjoy the expanse, float and feel at home in yourself.